Tag: reflections
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Too Fast, Too Close
Apparently there’s a “Too Fast World” theory of autism. I guess the idea there is that autistic people’s central thread is we kind of process incoming information more slowly, so the pace that works for neurotypicals decidedly does not work for us. That not only deeply resonates with me, but — it’s occurring to me…
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Happy New Year!
(I hope. : ) Seems like a good time to make a record. A record of recent events. : ) So, let’s see… C. & I took the train! It was really fun. This environment might actually be too distracting for journalling… We’ll see. I also don’t have very long, because I have my first…
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Agency
Last week in therapy I mentioned a belief I have around the futility of my own actions. Two beliefs, actually: one, is the belief that what I do will not have the intended outcome, but instead some dire, undesired consequence; the other is that I just have no ability at all to impact my circumstances/the…
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The Barn
C. & I are sitting, rather jet lagged, in The Barn, on Invalidenstraße, Berlin. I’m drinking a cappuccino made with their low caffeine beans, which are really, impressively delicious. C. is laughing at cat videos, and posting pictures. We’re across from a beautiful, old-looking building — maybe sandstone? — I wonder what the history of…
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Getting To Know My World
I feel as though — in some ways, at least — I’m interacting with my life more, interacting with my world more. It’s strange: just spending a lot of time Being With a place, like our upstairs deck, has put me in touch with bugs, birds, squirrels, light, wind… The Big Tree… so many people…
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Teaching The Dog To Bark
There’s apparently an idea in dog training where, if you want to teach a dog not to bark, you first need to teach it to bark. Maybe there’s a similar opportunity with my Dark Veil. Maybe if I can learn to be in the Dark Veil, I can also learn to lift the Dark Veil…
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For Whom?
As I was emerging from sleep this morning, I had what I think might be a pretty important realization: there’s all this wonderful stuff in the books I *already have,* just waiting for me to open it up and discover it! The deeper layer of that has to do with how — every moment of…
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Cankers (?)
When I found that high-quality CBD oil “cures” my cankers… I’m not sure I can even describe the relief I felt. But now, I’m not so sure. Is it possible I’ve just driven them down a different nerve? Is whatever caused my cankers the same thing that now causes my tinnitus? I’m really afraid it…
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Dérive
Interestingly, I think one of my problems is that, if I come up with an idea that excites me, I often assume it’s an original idea, and, therefore, miss out on opportunities to commune with my ideological forebears and colleagues, to benefit from their insights and organization of ideas, and maybe even to have community…
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Intention
My intention is not to elicit sympathy; it is to elicit shared understanding.